Poppy's (Very Cozy) First Christmas

This has been a magical week to be pregnant.

Last week I went to the doctor and found out that Poppy is doing well. He is no longer breech, he is sideways (baby steps, right?), his heartbeat is strong, I'm 25 weeks, I've gained 16 pounds and only one light stretch mark, and all of my lab work looks good. He's been in the Christmas spirit recently, kicking and punching up a storm. I love it when I can feel his whole body move inside me and his head makes the whole side of my tummy do the wave. He always seems to do this when daddy or grandma aren't around to feel him do it, but for now, I'm enjoying it. I tell ya--this kid is either shy or a pain in the neck--one or the other.

This Christmas, most of the gifts Chris and I received were technically for Poppy. My parents gave us a crib set for our nursery (option 1, for those of you who commented during the poll and were wondering), some baby pajamas, and an Applebees giftcard so we can get take-out when my rib is really bothering me. My brother also got a couple outfits from Baby Gap for the little tyke. He'll be quite the stylin' baby!

Chris and I have been spending a lot lately getting the nursery ready, by way of making the downstairs a sort of playroom/family room/office combo since our office is now Poppy's bedroom. I received a beautiful wood bookshelf and Chris got a TV stand and television to aid in the transition, which we decided were our Christmas presents to each other. Nevertheless, neither of us could resist giving each other "a little something". We haven't opened all of our presents yet, because the other "baby" in our family visited her mom over the Christmas holiday. All I can say is, my favorite Poppy-related gift hasn't been opened by Chris yet, but I can't wait to give it to him! I also got Dannika a baby boy doll (right now all she has are girl dollies) and a book about being a big sister for Christmas. I figure we can play mommy together. After all, I'm sure that's how I'll feel at first--like I'm pretending to be a mom to a baby. I don't remember when I stopped feeling like I was playing school during my first year of teaching, but it took a long time and occasionally I still do feel as though I'm in the "Land of Make Believe". Strangely, I kind of felt like Dannika's stepmomma long before Chris and I got married. That must be a special case!

The other fun part of being pregnant over the holidays are the reactions of family members who are seeing you noticeably pregnant for the first time. A few of my favorite comments over the weekend were:

"Oh! Look at your little belly! It's so cute!" - Stephanie, Chris's cousin, after putting her hand where Poppy's head would be.

"Are you sure you want them to play together? I mean, look at what happens to Beth when THOSE two play!" - Randy, my father-in-law, after others insisted that I join in the game of Kings that Chris was playing in at the dining room table

"Ya see? Now that's what happens when someone pokes fun at ya and you take it to seriously!" - "Chub", Chris's great uncle, pointing at my stomach and commenting on my pregnancy. I believe this comment made for the funniest and most inappropriate reaction to my pregnancy of all time. It even beat out the lady at HyVee who sold me my box of pregnancy tests last summer. "Hmmm. Darlin', is this a good thing or a bad thing that you buyin' these here tests?"

Well, no matter. Poppy and I love the attention.


For whatever reason, I cannot upload pictures to my blog right now. Check back later for some pictures of Poppy's loot!


Merry Christmas, 


Poppy and Mama




 

 

Poppy Don't Kick . . . He Pops!

Ever since I laid eyes on the ultrasound monitor, I knew my son was an active one. At my last prenatal appointment I was told that I wouldn't feel him very much because of where the placenta is located. In other words, he kicks his nourishment source--not me! 

However, this simply isn't true. I've been feeling tiny "pops" since around week 16 and they've only gotten bigger. The whole "flutter" thing has been a myth for me. Poppy has some serious bang behind his buck. 

Due to the pregnancy popping (yes, popping) out my ribs, I've been taking a lot more baths to relax my muscles and get rid of pain naturally.  Today, while soaking in the tub I felt a huge POP right below my belly button. It even made the water move! How cool is that? 


Last night, my husband and I attended our third Bradley Method class. A girl in the class worked up the courage to ask the same thing I had been wondering. 

 I know movement is good, but is there such a thing as too much movement? Last night, my daughter was kicking and shaking her arms for nearly five hours straight. Should I be concerned? 

Lucky for us, there wasn't such a thing as too much movement, though she did say the more active the baby, the more likely you are to have an active child. The girl and I resolved that we would be getting our children together when they are older for tumble tots, or perhaps swimming the English Channel. Whatever it takes to get them to sleep at night, right?

Do You Know How Much I Love You?

Dear Poppy,

Do you know how much I love you already? 

While much of my day is occupied with worrying about how other people are feeling and praying for their peace, I've never been a sentimental girl.  I didn't cry on my wedding day. I didn't cry when Daddy proposed to me. Most of my birthday cards will be thrown out soon--not because they don't matter to me--I'm just not that kind of person. . . usually.

 But today when I was waiting at Walmart to have my prescription filled, I couldn't help but look at things for you and become a little flustered . I went to the shoe department. I looked for myself, I looked for your big sister, and then I looked for you. I pictured your tiny little baby feet in warm fuzzy socks. I imagined buying you your first pair of tennis shoes and watching you learn to walk. I daydreamed about you wearing out the soles of your Nikes or Adidas from soccer, biking, and playing Kick the Can with the neighbor kids on a summer night.I even though about how when you're a teenager, I'll probably have to buy you the next size up in your shoes for months on end due to a growth spurt. (I'm hoping you take after Daddy in that area.) Your feet, once too small to even see, will someday fill size 12 men's shoes. This idea amazes me.

I looked at clothes for you and your sister too. I love thinking about dressing you up--even knowing that your clothes will often be covered in spit-up for the first several months or stains and dirt as you get older. I love thinking that someday you will have your own personal style. You'll tell me you don't like wearing stripes and please don't buy anything from Hollister--it's not cool anymore. I'll keep all the receipts and try not to take it personally.

As you probably already know, mommy's been having some rib trouble with you. It's okay--it's not your fault. These things just happen sometimes. Two of my ribs are continually being dislocated and it is suspected I may have herniated discs. The pain is sometimes unbearable--which is why I've been putting ice on my ribs. I hope it's not making you too chilly in there.

Today I was prescribed Hydrocodone to take to help me deal with the pain. The problem is that even though I'm in a lot of pain and I know it's affecting you too, I'm kind of afraid to take it. I know that when I can't breathe, you can't breathe either--but what about the rest of the time? I hate the idea of hurting you--even if the doctor says that taking 1 a day has a very minimal risk. I hate the idea that even though there are no irreversible side effects, you could have trouble after your born. I'm not the type of mother that puts herself before her kids unless I feel there is a no other choice.

I want you to know that even if I end up taking the Hydrocodone that I'm still going to try my best to take care of you. I will continue to eat my protein every few hours. I'll try to drink more water. I'll take my prenatal vitamin every day. I'll get at least 30 minutes of light-moderate exercise daily.  And if the medicine is bothering you too much, you just let me know okay? I know you can't use your words yet, but God will find a way to watch over us and take care of us both. We just have to have faith. He will let me know if this is too much for you.

Love you more than you know,

Mama

Nursery Help!

Seeing as Poppy will grow up with two loyal and loving dogs, we (okay, I) have decided to do a "Man's Best Friend" theme for Poppy's nursery. Puppy dogs galore!

I am working on my baby registries and need some help. . . please comment (on here or on facebook) and tell me which one you think is the best!

Option 1: Doggies with Sports

Option 2: Spotted Puppy

Option 3: Summersault Show Doggies

 

Thank you in advance for your feedback. :-)

My Naughty Little Boy!

I’m afraid my son may be a naughty one. . . 

Exhibit A: The first time I ever saw my son he was 11 weeks old. He was moving around so much they could hardly get a good measurement on him because he was shaking his arms and legs. He even did a flip in there!  Heartbeat was a speedy 184 that day due to all of his cardiovascular activity. I’ve decided this first impression could lead to one of two things.

1.       He will have hyperactivity disorder like his Grandpa John did as a child.

2.       He will be nationally ranked in vaulting/gymnastics like his Grandpa John was as a young man.

Either way, I’m blaming my dad for that one.

Exhibit B: All of the activity is NOT helping my ribs. After intense back and rib pain my physical therapist discovered one of my vertebrae is hypermobile and one of my ribs keeps popping out of place. These are in two different places of my back—lucky me! My rib dislocating was probably caused by the use of crutches over the summer. The fact that my rib refuses to stay in the right place is probably due to Poppy’s gymnastics. C’mon kid! I’m doing my best to make sure your ribs develop well. Could you do me a favor and look out for mine while you’re in there? Geez!

Exhibit C: You may note that I haven’t posted a picture of Poppy’s profile. That’s because he won’t show his face. In fact, we almost didn’t get to find out that he was a boy because he is breech. Now the doctors say he’ll probably flip by the time of delivery, but so far Poppy hasn’t seemed overly cooperative, so I’m not holding my breath. The ultrasound technician poked and prodded at him to show his face. He turned and faced my spine. She poked and prodded him again. He turned to face us—and put his hands over his face. She had me turn this way and that, continuing to push on him in the direction she wanted him to turn. Then, I kid you not, HE SHOOK HIS HEAD NO on the ultrasound monitor.  After telling this story at the Heath family Thanksgiving I got a resounding chorus of , “Yup! He’s a Heath boy!” from about six different people in the room. 

Now my husband is a calm, responsible man. He can have stubborn streaks once in a while, but for the most part he is compromising.

Naturally, I turned to him and said, “You’re not that bad. When did you mellow out?”

His dad took the opportunity to chime in, “When he was about 21 or 22.”

Chris nodded in agreement.

Oh BOY ! I think I’m in for it. . .

This is a picture of my baby’s naughty little stinker feet that are going to get him into all kinds of mischief some day:

My Son

Dear Poppy,

     I am sorry I haven’t written you in awhile. My blog acted up and then I lost an entry. . . not to mention not much has happened within the past few weeks—besides you dislocating a couple of my ribs!

     On Tuesday I found out that you are going to be a BOY. I have a little experience with girls since I already have a stepdaughter and I was a girl, but I don’t know much about raising boys yet. Don’t worry though. I’m going to work really hard at it. I’ve been asking lots of moms for advice and I picked up a book called “Raising Boys” from Barnes and Noble on Wednesday. I’ve already made good headway in it. I know I can’t learn everything there is to learn about raising you from conversations and books, but I am going to try my best. I hope you’ll be patient with me.

     I also hope you’ll be patient with the fact that we haven’t figured out a name for you yet. Had you been a girl, you would have been named Anneliese Rebekah Heath.  But naming a boy seems to be harder than naming a girl for us. We want you to be unique, but strong. We don’t want to give you an original name that’s going to turn you into a weirdo or a pansy. You’re our little hero. You deserve a noble name.

     Now that I know that you are a boy, I have some expectations for you. I know you won’t be able to live up to all of these at first  or maybe even ever, but I thought maybe if I gave you some advanced notice and let you know how we intend on raising you that you will have a better idea of what is coming for you in your future.  Of course, we will love you no matter what.

Here are some hopes that I have for you as my son:

1.    1.    Be respectful. I hope you grow to respect your father and me, your sister, and all of your other family members. I hope you grow to respect women and become a wonderful husband to your wife someday. I hope you respect all of the different types of people you will meet (even though they are different from you). I want you to respect animals, the earth, the arts, and new ideas. I want you to have an open and loving mind. This isn’t always easy, especially since stubbornness runs in your genes, but I’m going to try and help you.

2.      2.  Work hard. Your father and I believe in hard work and determination. Never give up. Don’t listen to someone who tells you to either.  Sometimes you won’t see the fruits of your labor for a long time, but if you believe in what you are doing you have to keep going.

3.     3.  Try new things. At least sometimes. It’ll help you grow as a person.

4.   4.     Find out what it is that makes you happy and run with it.

5.     5.   Be strong enough to talk to God. So many men think it’s weak or naïve to talk with God, but it’s not. Having faith takes determination and strength. When your father and I fail you, you can always look to your father in heaven.  Don’t be afraid to do so.

Love you,

            Mom

P.S. This is your bicep. I can already tell you're going to be a STRONG man!

Love Before First Sight

During her pregnancy, people warned

she was about to fall in love

like never before. 

She simply didn’t understand

connection,

strong bonds,

the feeling of adoration

until her

son.

Romances come and go but 

your baby

hooks you for life.

Dannika: Big Sister!

Chris and I told Dannika that she was going to be a big sister last week. To prepare her for this, we checked out some books at the library to read to her about what babies are like, what she can expect, and even the very basics of how babies are made.  After reading some of these books to her throughout the week, we told her at dinner on Thursday that she was going to be a big sister and that there is a baby in my tummy.  We told her that the baby is only the size of a lemon right now, but by the time it’s ready to come out it will be as big as one of her dolls. The questions that followed were quite interesting.

“There is a baby in your tummy? Right now?”

“Yep.”

“Where is the baby.”

I put her hand on my tummy. “About right there.”

“How come your tummy isn’t big?”

“The baby isn’t very big yet. It has to stay in there for a long time to get big.”

“Why?”

“The baby can’t eat on its own, so I have to eat for the baby. My food goes through the umbilical cord to the baby so the baby can eat.  Every time I eat some of my food goes to the baby and that helps the baby get bigger. Just like when you eat it helps you get bigger.”

“I was in my mommy’s tummy too.”

“Yes you were. And your mommy had to eat so you could get food too when you were a baby.”

“Yeah, but I don’t have an umbillicon cord anymore. I have a belly button!” (Dannika pronounces umbilical “umbillicon”)

“Yep!”

“Can daddies have babies?”

“No. Daddies can’t have babies in their tummy. Only the mommy can do that part. But daddies help make the baby, so it’s his baby too.”

“Where did you and daddy make the baby?”

GULP!

Monday, Dinnertime

“Bethy? Is the baby still in your tummy?”

“Yup.”

“Is the baby getting some of your food right now?”

“Yep. Every time I take a bite, some food goes to the baby.” I put some casserole in my mouth.

“Do it again!”

“Do what again?”

“Feed the baby again!”

I take another bite. Dannika smiles.

“Feed it again!”

Of course, it has also come up that we do not know if Dannika is going to have a baby brother or a baby sister. When asked if she would like a baby brother or a sister her answer has always been:

“I want a baby sister.”

“Well, we may not get to choose a sister. You might have a brother instead. We’ll love whatever God gives us.”

“Yeah, but I want a sister.”

“That would be fun. But I’m sure we’ll love a baby brother too.”

Dannika makes a face.  Silence.

There are many more stories of Dannika’s inquiries about her sibling, but I am running out of time.  Perhaps there will be a second entry later. 

Peace!

In Your Dreams

I've read that when you are pregnant  you are likely to have some very wacky, very vivid dreams! For me, this has proven true and it is one of the symptoms of pregnancy that is actually kind of fun!

Earlier this week I had a dream that I was the director of a Christmas version of Singin' in the Rain. While I sat in an auditorium, hundreds of men and women, dressed in red with white fur collars danced around magically with umbrellas in a way that was truly mesmerizing. Snow flakes fell, the dancers did tricks with their umbrellas--seriously, Wicked would have to run for its money if this musical was ever produced.It was amazing!

I also had a dream where I was able to buy my dream house, a five bedroom three bathroom Victorian with crown moldings, built-ins, hardwood floors, and a den that I could turn into my very own library. Of course, during my dream I was decorating the baby's nursery after moving in to this gorgeous home. Did I mention it that it had a fenced-in yard and was on a culdesac?

Last night I had a less pleasant, but still very strange dream. I was in a canoe on the Nile River with a friend from church and all of a sudden the 7 plagues (from the Moses story) started to occur. First there were locusts everywhere. Then frogs completely filled the water and the boat. It felt so real when I woke up, I checked my skin to see if there were any bugs on me!

Has anyone else experienced the phenomenon of vivid dreaming during pregnancy? What was the strangest/best/most entertaining dream you had?

2nd Trimester Thoughts. . .

. . . the time between regular clothes and maternity clothes is rather awkward.

. . . every time I see a baby I get excited. Then scared.

. . . is the 2nd trimester burst of energy basically like going back to sleeping 8 hours a day instead of 12? (Or at least wanting to sleep that many hours?)

. . . to take the Bradley Method classes or not to take the Bradley Method classes. That is the question.

. . .On a similar note--lactation class. I know I should, but. . . but. . .do I gotta? Ugh. 

. . . where is my shiny, smooth skin and hair? I am breaking out like a teenager and every time I shave I cut myself due to all of the goosebumps I have. 

. . . I don't think putting on too much weight will be a big problem at this point. I feel bloated after eating even small meals, so it's hard to want to overindulge. Unless whatever I'm eating includes cheese dip.

. . . You know what sounds really good right now? Cheese dip.

. . . There is a baby inside of me. A PERSON. It's there. RIGHT NOW!

. . . I feel almost no inspiration to start planning my nursery. I think it is because I don't know if Poppy is a girl or a boy yet. I must be a "genderist" decorator. I use the term genderist because a professor in college said the word sexist is sexist. Er, something like that.

. . .really wish my "symptoms" that are "probably fine" would go away, as they are "scaring the crap out of me"

. . .  Did I feel you the other day or was it my imagination?

. . . How will Dannika react when we finally tell her? How will her mother react? :-/

. . . I really need to get my act in gear and get my house organized before this baby comes

. . .  Having a legitimate excuse to go shopping for new clothes is great.

. . . Prenatal massage. The second best thing about having a baby. Tied with

Wild Man!! (Or Woman)

Holy smokes! I went to my ultrasound today and I feel sorry for my baby's teachers already. The first time I saw my baby he was doing somersaults and flailing his arms in my womb. (S)he looked like a raver! Hyperactive a little?

To top it off, Poppy is also stubborn. (S)he likes to snuggle and is tucked away in a corner. (S)he wouldn't come out. They had me laugh, cough, and move to get Poppy to reposition, but (s)he would just hop up in a tizzy then settle back down into the same spot.

At least (s)he is a snuggler.

Ultrasound confirmed that I am 11 weeks 5 days today.  Because Poppy was so active and squirmy it was hard to get him/her to hold still for a good shot, but here is my first glimpse of my BABY!

 

 Pretty neat, huh?

So, is this your first baby?!

I’ve recently been posed with this question a lot, and I am still not exactly sure on the appropriate way to answer it.

 I have been with Chris since about the time Dannika turned two and quickly became involved in her life. Over the past two years I have taught her colors, the alphabet, and countless songs.  I have helped her learn to count, tie her shoes, and zip up her coat. I provide her health insurance, have taken her to the doctor when she was sick, and comforted her during illness. I have fed her, bathed her, and clothed her. I have worn the badges of motherhood—poop, pee, and sneeze/booger at various times during our relationship. I have encouraged and I have disciplined. I have played with and I have taught responsibility. 

Do I consider myself a new mom? No. 

Is this my first baby? Yes.

Right now, I know more about potty training than I do breastfeeding and more about getting a fussy preschooler to stay in her bed than I do about getting a fussy baby to go to sleep. But I don’t think I would have spent half my night playing alphabet games, watching Caillou, and eating Spaghettios if I weren’t a mom.

 Being a stepmother before you become a mother is a very curious thing.  You suddenly have the responsibilities of a mother, but with little recognition. Naturally, people are skeptical of you. You are reading parenting books, researching preschools, worrying for your child, and providing for your child. But most people don’t see that. They know you haven’t had a child. You lack something. I don’t say this for sympathy, but to rather explain my position.  I agree. Stepmothers do lack something. But how much?

It may surprise you to know that one of my biggest fears is that my new baby will take away my attention from Dannika. I feel that as a stepmom I have to work extra hard to form a bond between us. I have worked hard to form such a strong and trusting relationship with my daughter—I don’t want that to go away. I want her to feel safe and loved by me in her home. In our home.

But I am not a fool. I am not naïve. I know it will be easier with my baby. I know that my baby will love me more than Dannika ever will—no matter what I do. And it is likely that I will feel the reciprocal, no matter how guilty that makes me feel. No matter how much I try to avoid it.

So what do I do? I pray. A lot. I pray that Dannika will know how loved she is by me. I pray that she will always feel comfortable and safe in our home. I pray that God will show me was to incorporate Dannika into Poppy’s care. I pray that I won’t feel guilty taking care of Poppy instead of Dannika. I pray that I won’t feel guilty taking care of Dannika instead of Poppy.  I pray for balance. For sanity.

I pray for peace.

Looking Up. . . or Looking Cute

The past couple of weeks have not been the most magical time of my pregnancy so far. Besides feeling very tired and overwhelmed by all of the changes that will occur in my life soon--financial, physical, emotional, and even social, I have also been feeling down about my body. I don't look pregnant yet, I just look (and feel) bigger.  As What to Expect put it, "You may notice that your clothes are now tighter and may not be buttoning in the waist like they used to--though at this point you're more likely to look as though you've been hitting the doughnuts hard than that you're pregnant." Heidi Murkoff sure does have a way with words, doesn't she?

I didn't figure I'd be seriously shopping for maternity clothes so soon (11 weeks) but I decided that even if they're a little loose now, they won't be in a few weeks. I thought it would be nice to wear something that was relaxed in the waist rather than snug. So yesterday, Chris and I had a night to ourselves and wound up at Valley West Mall, which has a Motherhood Maternity store.

First of all, I have to say that Chris was a great sport. Surrounded by maternity clothes, nursing bras, and stretch mark cream, my husband bravely stayed with me in the store armed with the distraction of Angry Birds and other various Android apps to help him keep his composure. Well played, dear. Well played.

As Chris buried himself in a virtual world of killing snotty, royal pigs, I walked around the store a little overwhelmed, out of place, and unsure of where to begin. Fortunately a very nice saleswoman came and helped answer a bunch of questions I had about sizing. To my surprise, the prices were very reasonable and I was even able to find some fall/winter clothes on clearance! Yes! Things were looking up! 

The time came to enter the dressing room. Chris reclined in a chair outside ready to give me supportive comments and advice as I bravely entered a world of maternity clothes, a world in which I have only a little experience. Then Nice Saleslady dropped a bomb on me.

"We have fake maternity bellies too. You'll want to try them on with your clothes so that you can see what they'll look like in a few months." She held up a circular pillow shaped object with velcro straps and placed it on the chair. "We have everything else you'll need for trying things on too. The camis fit everyone  and stay in the room so you can try them on with whatever you need them for. Let me know if I can help you with anything else."

I looked at the fake belly. I looked at Chris. I looked at the fake belly again. "I suppose I should probably try that, huh?"

Chris knew better than to try and tell me what to do. He shrugged.


When I first tried on the clothes, I was not brave enough to put on the belly. . . but curiosity killed the cat. I kind of did want to see what I'd look like in a few months. After fiddling with the silly velcro straps and positioning the awkward pillow in place, I bravely put on the beautiful blue clearance! sweater.

I don't mean to brag, but I looked cute. When I had that belly on under that sweater, I felt prettier than I had in weeks. I looked like a pregnant lady! I looked like someone who was growing a baby! There was something very attractive about looking like someone who was supporting a new human life--a piece of me and a piece of Chris.

I took a deep breath and pulled back the curtain. I walked out of the dressing room.

Chris looked up from his game and tried to contain a smile. Not a mean, teasing smirk--the kind of admiring smile that makes you feel  beautiful, cherished, and connected all at the same time. It wasn't just me--he thought I was pretty too! He hadn't been feeding me sweet little lies when he told me he'd still think I was pretty was bigger. It was true. My heart felt so much better. . .

These are some things I got at Motherhood yesterday. . .

Long, flowing dress

 
Pretty blue clearance sweater!

Work pants. (Boring)

What I've Been Waiting For . . . Kinda

I had my first prenatal appointment with my midwife yesterday. I have been looking forward to day for over a month now, as I discovered I was pregnant on July 31, 2011 and had it confirmed by my family doctor on August 5th, 2010.

The reason I was looking forward to the appointment so much was because I've been dying to hear the heartbeat. I read that for a woman of a healthy weight who is 25 or younger, the risk of miscarriage is very small after a good, strong heartbeat has been heard. I decided back in August that I would wait until I had that good, strong heartbeat and then I would be able to announce. It is a good thing too--because some of my pants don't quite zip up the way they did. . . two weeks ago? :-/

Chris, my husband, came with me yesterday. I felt awkward the whole time--from having someone in the exam room with me to the insane number of infant photos on every surface, to the life sized statue of a pregnant woman at the entrance of the clinic. It didn't help that the whole time I was there I was thinking, "all of these people know I'm pregnant and I didn't even tell them". Just awkward.

We spent almost a half hour answering questions about our health histories and then finally the midwife examined me and searched for the Poppy's heartbeat using a doppler. Well, SHE FOUND IT! The baby's heart beat was loud, steady, and clear at 160bpm. Chris's eyes welled up with happiness but I sat there on the table feeling like I was in a dream.  I'd been waiting for over a month to hear that sound and all that was going through my head was, "Yup. There it is. Seems kinda strange there's a heart right there. There isn't usually a heart there. . . hmmm. "

And then I left the office crying. Not because of happiness or relief but more out of terror. That audible heart beat was a surefire sign that I am going to have a BABY. I am going to be a MOTHER. Not just a stepmother--I am the only mommy Poppy gets. I can't mess this up!

And then my head started spinning about all of the information my midwife gave me. NO caffeine (even though my other doctor told me less than 200 mg was okay), insane amounts of water (even though I'm a teacher and don't often get bathroom breaks),  a serving of protein every 2-3 hours, even in the middle of the night (even though most meat makes me sick right now and I'm dead tired and yearning for sleep). I left feeling like a bad mother and a failure  before I was even totally out of my first trimester.

And then I panicked because I panicked! I cried for not being excited to hear my baby's heart and for freaking out. Typical me, I suppose.

Also, I am measuring small and will need an ultrasound next week to date the baby. I know this shouldn't freak me out that badly, but it does a little. And the worst is that my husband won't be with me for the first ultrasound. He will be out of town because of his job. Luckily, my mom is going to go with me. 
 
***

P.S. Poppy is laying on my vena cava "being rocked the the rhythm of my heartbeat" which I suspect may be part of the reason I have back pain--even though Poppy is only the size of a kiwi right now. Little twerp! Must be Chris's kid.

Lil Cyclone Baby

It's rough for me to think that my baby will grow up in a "house divided" Iowa vs. ISU situation. With the upcoming CyHawk football game in my midst, I made sure that my baby will be prepared for next year. Poppy already has an ISU onesie so he/she will be prepared from birth. GO STATE!!!!

Are you still in there?

Apart from being tired, I can hardly tell you're there.
I can't wait until I hear your heartbeat and I feel you!!

Vegetarian Baby?

 I have decided it is very possible that Poppy is a vegetarian. My first food aversion appears to be meat, especially red meat. Walking through the grocery store is a near painful experience until we find refuge in the dairy or canned goods area. Then I'm able to breath through my nose again.

Most children dislike vegetables and Poppy appears to be no different. This is my second aversion, but it is less so than the meat. I can handle the vegetables if they're cooked. So long as Poppy doesn't become a vegan I think we'll be fine, especially since milk has become a larger part of my diet lately. Poppy's favorite? Fruit smoothies made with milk or yogurt. Today is the last day of summer for me since I have to go back to work next week, so I think we may treat ourselves to an Orange Julius today. And some shopping of course. ;-)

The Heart in the Baby Goes Ba-bump Ba-bump Ba-bump

Dear Poppy Seed,

So much has happened since the last time I wrote you. When mommy and daddy got back from our vacation I went to the doctor and we found out that it's true--you're really coming! The doctor says you're coming on Easter Sunday (April 8th), which is very exciting, but so far away. I think it's funny that God chose to give me His two best gifts on the very same day.

So far you have been pretty nice to mommy. I have had heartburn quite a bit, but I've been able to eat pretty much whatever I want, so thank you for being so cooperative. Today was the first day I felt woozy, but I drank some Sprite and things seem to settle down for us. The books I have been reading about you tell me that your heart just started to beat. This must take a lot of work because mommy has been tired  a lot recently. Today I slept for almost three hours in the middle of the day! Your mommy is usually pretty productive on the weekends, so this was quite strange, but I am learning to rest more for the both of us.

Let me know if there is anything else you need.

Love you,

Mom

First Letter to My Baby

Actually Written July 31st, 2011


Dear Baby,

This morning I found out that I am going to be your mommy. I was so excited I woke up Daddy early to tell him. The news woke him right up. He smiled and laughed, but he is still having a hard time believing that you're really coming.

When I found out all I wanted to do was read about you and get to know you better. Today I found out that you're the size of a poppy seed. The moment I read that I thought it was the cutest nickname I ever heard! I can't believe I never met another baby whose parents called him poppy seed! But that's just as well because then your nickname will be unique. I want to be able to give you things that are yours alone.

I love you so much and I can't even feel you yet.


Love,
         Your Mama