Looking Up. . . or Looking Cute

The past couple of weeks have not been the most magical time of my pregnancy so far. Besides feeling very tired and overwhelmed by all of the changes that will occur in my life soon--financial, physical, emotional, and even social, I have also been feeling down about my body. I don't look pregnant yet, I just look (and feel) bigger.  As What to Expect put it, "You may notice that your clothes are now tighter and may not be buttoning in the waist like they used to--though at this point you're more likely to look as though you've been hitting the doughnuts hard than that you're pregnant." Heidi Murkoff sure does have a way with words, doesn't she?

I didn't figure I'd be seriously shopping for maternity clothes so soon (11 weeks) but I decided that even if they're a little loose now, they won't be in a few weeks. I thought it would be nice to wear something that was relaxed in the waist rather than snug. So yesterday, Chris and I had a night to ourselves and wound up at Valley West Mall, which has a Motherhood Maternity store.

First of all, I have to say that Chris was a great sport. Surrounded by maternity clothes, nursing bras, and stretch mark cream, my husband bravely stayed with me in the store armed with the distraction of Angry Birds and other various Android apps to help him keep his composure. Well played, dear. Well played.

As Chris buried himself in a virtual world of killing snotty, royal pigs, I walked around the store a little overwhelmed, out of place, and unsure of where to begin. Fortunately a very nice saleswoman came and helped answer a bunch of questions I had about sizing. To my surprise, the prices were very reasonable and I was even able to find some fall/winter clothes on clearance! Yes! Things were looking up! 

The time came to enter the dressing room. Chris reclined in a chair outside ready to give me supportive comments and advice as I bravely entered a world of maternity clothes, a world in which I have only a little experience. Then Nice Saleslady dropped a bomb on me.

"We have fake maternity bellies too. You'll want to try them on with your clothes so that you can see what they'll look like in a few months." She held up a circular pillow shaped object with velcro straps and placed it on the chair. "We have everything else you'll need for trying things on too. The camis fit everyone  and stay in the room so you can try them on with whatever you need them for. Let me know if I can help you with anything else."

I looked at the fake belly. I looked at Chris. I looked at the fake belly again. "I suppose I should probably try that, huh?"

Chris knew better than to try and tell me what to do. He shrugged.


When I first tried on the clothes, I was not brave enough to put on the belly. . . but curiosity killed the cat. I kind of did want to see what I'd look like in a few months. After fiddling with the silly velcro straps and positioning the awkward pillow in place, I bravely put on the beautiful blue clearance! sweater.

I don't mean to brag, but I looked cute. When I had that belly on under that sweater, I felt prettier than I had in weeks. I looked like a pregnant lady! I looked like someone who was growing a baby! There was something very attractive about looking like someone who was supporting a new human life--a piece of me and a piece of Chris.

I took a deep breath and pulled back the curtain. I walked out of the dressing room.

Chris looked up from his game and tried to contain a smile. Not a mean, teasing smirk--the kind of admiring smile that makes you feel  beautiful, cherished, and connected all at the same time. It wasn't just me--he thought I was pretty too! He hadn't been feeding me sweet little lies when he told me he'd still think I was pretty was bigger. It was true. My heart felt so much better. . .

These are some things I got at Motherhood yesterday. . .

Long, flowing dress

 
Pretty blue clearance sweater!

Work pants. (Boring)