Got Milk?

This post is likely going to be unpopular, controversial or maybe just plain uncomfortable for you. That having been said, it's MY blog and I'll type about my thoughts on breastfeeding if I want to.  Proceed at your own risk. If you're offended by anything I've said, you can blame it on pregnancy hormones.

I'm having some trouble-- breastfeeding trouble that is--and I haven't even started yet. How can this be so? Well, I can't seem to find a breastfeeding philosophy that matches my own. It seems that in a world of extremes, my gray area got skipped over. Here are my thoughts in 20 words or less.

I am going to try breastfeeding only because it is best for my baby and I love him very much. 

^^But truth be told, I don't really want to breastfeed. For the breastfeeding fanatics out there who love the "beautiful bond" that you share with your baby, I'm happy that you're able to see it this way and that you're enjoying the time you get to spend nurturing your baby giving him the "gift  that only you can give" him. If I could change my brain to somehow view the task more positively, I would. But frankly, the more breastfeeding resources and fanatics I encounter, the more turned off I am by trying the experience.

I am taking a 12 week Bradley Method natural birthing class and let me tell you, if there's one thing Bradley Method parents like more than a drug and intervention free labor, it's breastfeeding. At our class I feel bombarded by boobs. Pictures of nursing mothers adorn the walls. In the bathroom there is a GIANT poster of a woman's breasts with the caption  THE ONLY FOOD GROUP YOUR BABY NEEDS. The lending library is filled with book after book about breastfeeding. The instructor herself sends us breastfeeding articles, links, and resources in our email and holds a breastfeeding support group at the same location--a support group that she plugs at every single class. It's just plain overwhelming.

Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against support and resources for this monumental task. It is definitely not easy to be the sole or main provider of nourishment to your child--especially when you're exhausted, your body is still out of whack from childbirth, breastfeeding has it's own set of special effects on your body, and many people may view you as being inappropriately exposed when all you're trying to do is take care of your baby. Good grief! These women need a drink! (Too bad most won't be able to have one since their babies nurse every 2-3 hours.)

That having been said, can we stop making breastfeeding out to be this super great thing and just see it for what it is? I'm tired of the articles and resources trying to talk me in to the idea, toting the same reasons over and over again. You'll save money on formula, no bottles to wash, your baby will be smarter and healthier, you'll get back to your pre-pregnancy shape faster, and the list goes on. In my opinion, the only real reason to breastfeed is to give your baby the best nutrition possible, therefore giving him/her a healthy, bright future. Period.

Sure, you may save money by not buying formula or you might save some time not washing bottles--but this will be all at your expense. The time you saved not washing bottles will get eaten up (pun intended) sitting in a rocker with a baby attached to you because breastfed babies eat more often. And you can't really share the breastfeeding task the way you can share the bottle washing task. Let's not kid ourselves--even if you pump breastmilk so that dad can help sometimes, it still takes a lot more time to pump than it does to mix up some formula. Not to mention, the extra diapers you have the honor of changing due that easy-to-digest breast milk. You're welcome, kid.


Sure, you may find it easier to lose weight after pregnancy if you nurse. Or you may have to eat so many extra calories to keep your milk supply up, that you don't lose weight at all. Or you may have to be put on a special diet because of your baby's food allergies. Or you may lose the weight, but constantly leak breast milk for awhile. I don't know about you, but given the choice, I'd rather be out and about in public with 10 extra pounds on me than out and about with milk stains running through my shirt. I heard a story from a coworker about a teacher who leaked through nursing pads, her bra, and a sweater 30 minutes before parent-teacher conferences at school. Not exactly the impression she was hoping to make.

And yes, breastfeeding is easy and convenient in that you don't have to remember to bring bottles and formula with you when you leave the house. But it's not so easy to get looks or rude comments from people who may see you breastfeeding. Personally, I see breastfeeding as being dehumanizing to me. In one area of my life I'm a professional with a Master's Degree. In another, I may as well be a sow laying in a bed of straw with a bunch of suckling piglets at my side. This is actually the biggest mental hurdle I will have to overcome when nursing my son--that feeding him the natural way doesn't make me barbaric, animalistic, and ridiculous in the eyes of others. Nursing products with names like "Udder Covers" and "Hooter Hiders" further exacerbate this in my eyes. The fact that someone thought that a name like that would be cute or funny completely disgusts me.

So where is a girl like me supposed to go to for breastfeeding support and advice? I'm not a fanatic--I'm not one to go after public support. But I do know that it's going to be a lot of hard work and I'm hoping to not have to completely go it alone. I've already decided that I can't teach and pump--I barely get time to pee when I'm at work, let alone use a breast pump while I'm at work and I'm not going to sacrifice planning time at school to pump so that I can spend more time grading papers and planning lessons at home rather than snuggling my baby when I go back to work in the fall. I think breastfeeding is best for my baby, but I'm not naive enough to believe that it's the best for my energy level,  my sleep schedule, or my time. I'd like to skip all of that drivel, please. Hold the exclusive breastfeeding guilt while you're at it, thank you.

So are there resources out there that don't try to shove exclusive breastfeeding down your throat? Are there books or people I can talk to you that won't try to make nursing out the be a "beautiful" experience in an attempt to balance out all of the cons? Are there any breastfeeding books that are, well, honest about how much it's going to suck (hee hee, I'm on a roll)? Are there any breastfeeding books that don't pack their pages with pictures of children shoved into their mother's cleavage? It's really not necessary. I know what it looks like.

I think that if I were going to write a breastfeeding book I'd call it, "Mrs. H's Guide to Nursing: An Exploration into Just One of the Many Sacrifices You Will Make for Your Children". Does this book exist? If not, I may just have to write it.