Got Milk?

This post is likely going to be unpopular, controversial or maybe just plain uncomfortable for you. That having been said, it's MY blog and I'll type about my thoughts on breastfeeding if I want to.  Proceed at your own risk. If you're offended by anything I've said, you can blame it on pregnancy hormones.

I'm having some trouble-- breastfeeding trouble that is--and I haven't even started yet. How can this be so? Well, I can't seem to find a breastfeeding philosophy that matches my own. It seems that in a world of extremes, my gray area got skipped over. Here are my thoughts in 20 words or less.

I am going to try breastfeeding only because it is best for my baby and I love him very much. 

^^But truth be told, I don't really want to breastfeed. For the breastfeeding fanatics out there who love the "beautiful bond" that you share with your baby, I'm happy that you're able to see it this way and that you're enjoying the time you get to spend nurturing your baby giving him the "gift  that only you can give" him. If I could change my brain to somehow view the task more positively, I would. But frankly, the more breastfeeding resources and fanatics I encounter, the more turned off I am by trying the experience.

I am taking a 12 week Bradley Method natural birthing class and let me tell you, if there's one thing Bradley Method parents like more than a drug and intervention free labor, it's breastfeeding. At our class I feel bombarded by boobs. Pictures of nursing mothers adorn the walls. In the bathroom there is a GIANT poster of a woman's breasts with the caption  THE ONLY FOOD GROUP YOUR BABY NEEDS. The lending library is filled with book after book about breastfeeding. The instructor herself sends us breastfeeding articles, links, and resources in our email and holds a breastfeeding support group at the same location--a support group that she plugs at every single class. It's just plain overwhelming.

Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against support and resources for this monumental task. It is definitely not easy to be the sole or main provider of nourishment to your child--especially when you're exhausted, your body is still out of whack from childbirth, breastfeeding has it's own set of special effects on your body, and many people may view you as being inappropriately exposed when all you're trying to do is take care of your baby. Good grief! These women need a drink! (Too bad most won't be able to have one since their babies nurse every 2-3 hours.)

That having been said, can we stop making breastfeeding out to be this super great thing and just see it for what it is? I'm tired of the articles and resources trying to talk me in to the idea, toting the same reasons over and over again. You'll save money on formula, no bottles to wash, your baby will be smarter and healthier, you'll get back to your pre-pregnancy shape faster, and the list goes on. In my opinion, the only real reason to breastfeed is to give your baby the best nutrition possible, therefore giving him/her a healthy, bright future. Period.

Sure, you may save money by not buying formula or you might save some time not washing bottles--but this will be all at your expense. The time you saved not washing bottles will get eaten up (pun intended) sitting in a rocker with a baby attached to you because breastfed babies eat more often. And you can't really share the breastfeeding task the way you can share the bottle washing task. Let's not kid ourselves--even if you pump breastmilk so that dad can help sometimes, it still takes a lot more time to pump than it does to mix up some formula. Not to mention, the extra diapers you have the honor of changing due that easy-to-digest breast milk. You're welcome, kid.


Sure, you may find it easier to lose weight after pregnancy if you nurse. Or you may have to eat so many extra calories to keep your milk supply up, that you don't lose weight at all. Or you may have to be put on a special diet because of your baby's food allergies. Or you may lose the weight, but constantly leak breast milk for awhile. I don't know about you, but given the choice, I'd rather be out and about in public with 10 extra pounds on me than out and about with milk stains running through my shirt. I heard a story from a coworker about a teacher who leaked through nursing pads, her bra, and a sweater 30 minutes before parent-teacher conferences at school. Not exactly the impression she was hoping to make.

And yes, breastfeeding is easy and convenient in that you don't have to remember to bring bottles and formula with you when you leave the house. But it's not so easy to get looks or rude comments from people who may see you breastfeeding. Personally, I see breastfeeding as being dehumanizing to me. In one area of my life I'm a professional with a Master's Degree. In another, I may as well be a sow laying in a bed of straw with a bunch of suckling piglets at my side. This is actually the biggest mental hurdle I will have to overcome when nursing my son--that feeding him the natural way doesn't make me barbaric, animalistic, and ridiculous in the eyes of others. Nursing products with names like "Udder Covers" and "Hooter Hiders" further exacerbate this in my eyes. The fact that someone thought that a name like that would be cute or funny completely disgusts me.

So where is a girl like me supposed to go to for breastfeeding support and advice? I'm not a fanatic--I'm not one to go after public support. But I do know that it's going to be a lot of hard work and I'm hoping to not have to completely go it alone. I've already decided that I can't teach and pump--I barely get time to pee when I'm at work, let alone use a breast pump while I'm at work and I'm not going to sacrifice planning time at school to pump so that I can spend more time grading papers and planning lessons at home rather than snuggling my baby when I go back to work in the fall. I think breastfeeding is best for my baby, but I'm not naive enough to believe that it's the best for my energy level,  my sleep schedule, or my time. I'd like to skip all of that drivel, please. Hold the exclusive breastfeeding guilt while you're at it, thank you.

So are there resources out there that don't try to shove exclusive breastfeeding down your throat? Are there books or people I can talk to you that won't try to make nursing out the be a "beautiful" experience in an attempt to balance out all of the cons? Are there any breastfeeding books that are, well, honest about how much it's going to suck (hee hee, I'm on a roll)? Are there any breastfeeding books that don't pack their pages with pictures of children shoved into their mother's cleavage? It's really not necessary. I know what it looks like.

I think that if I were going to write a breastfeeding book I'd call it, "Mrs. H's Guide to Nursing: An Exploration into Just One of the Many Sacrifices You Will Make for Your Children". Does this book exist? If not, I may just have to write it.

Sir Poppington

It's been way too long since I last blogged. I probably would have written more except for most of the news surrounding my pregnancy has been regarding one of three things:

1. My ribs and back are killing me because of Poppy's crazy rib-dislocating antics. I will go on maternity leave early (beginning of March rather than beginning of April) because of this special problem.

2. The medicines and therapy I've been prescribed for the ribs scare me (sometimes necessarily and sometimes when they shouldn't). Doctors and midwives don't agree about anything when it comes to pregnancy things other than common sense. I've been having a hard time knowing what to believe since everyone (doctors, midwives, physical therapists) seems to want to treat the problem differently. Also, everyone agrees there's little that CAN be done and that's not a very helpful thing to have them all agree upon. An interesting piece of news I gained today at the doctor's office may make it slightly easier to stick to my plan of a natural, Bradley Method birth, however. Apparently an epidural will make my rib and back pain worse. There's an extra incentive to try and get my money's worth out of this Bradley class! :-)

3. I love my son too much to name him. No name seems suitable for such a special little guy. Everything is too common, too unique, too traditional, too old-fashioned, too weird, too ethnic, too bland, too young, etc. Whenever Chris and I get close to naming our little guy there seems to be a roadblock in front of our decision. I'm praying for inspiration . . . or perhaps some friends and family members that love our name ideas so much they convince us of one to settle on!

Here is some other news however. . . 

I bought a crib! Not by choice, necessarily. Chris and I were going to use Dannika's crib to save money, but found out it had been recalled. Although oak is not what I would have originally chosen, oak is the color of the wood dresser I bought Poppy  to go with Dannika's old oak crib, so oak is what I had to buy. Neverthless I think Poppy's new crib is cute and will go perfectly with his "Man's Best Friend" puppy dog decor. :-) It also converts into a toddler bed, daybed, and full size bed. So his crib and dresser will take him from infancy through college. This bargain-shoppin' momma was pretty happy about that!!
  Another piece of news is that I love going shopping for baby clothes. I have been trying not to buy too much since my baby shower is on Saturday. Plus, ya never know how big the baby will be and how fast he will grow once he's born. Still, here are a few items I just couldn't resist!

Exhibit A: Man of Few Words 
My husband is one of the quietest people I know, which makes this especially adorable and ironic. After showing Poppy's daddy this onesie, he agreed that we had to have it.

Exhibit B: Newbie
I bought this one with my husband in mind as well. Chris is also a computer systems analyst, and a MMORPG computer game enthusiast. This was my favorite thing I gave Chris for Christmas this year. I stuffed it in his stocking. He loved it. :-) I'm also on the waiting list for the onesie from thinkgeek.com that reads "There's a nap for that" playing off of the iPhone's tagline "There's an app for that." I'm very excited to turn our son into an even bigger nerd than his parents as soon as possible. Infancy seems like a good place to start.

Old news, but news nevertheless--Dannika is going to make a wonderful big sister to our son. Every morning when it's time for me to go to work, rather than hugging me she hugs my tummy, kisses it, and tells her baby brother goodbye. At night time when we say our prayers she often wants to pray that God will watch over Poppy. She's forever asking about setting up new things in the baby's room and wants to make a piece of art  to frame and hang on his bedroom wall for him. It is so sweet to see her love and care for him so much already. It seems the baby books we've been reading to her have been helping. I'm praying that her feelings of affection last and that we will have as little sibling rivalry as possible. I think she'll be a big help, although I wouldn't trust her to name her little brother, even though she'd like to help us with that a lot. So far her ideas have consisted of Cael, Rudolph, Bubba, Balloon, and Dane. In my opinion, Cael is the only name we'd even consider, though I do find it cute. Bubba, Rudolph, and Balloon on the other hand . . .well . . . um. . .  I told her maybe we could get fishies for those names. Wink wink. 

I think that is all for now. Hopefully I will have energy to blog again at some point during the week. And if not, peace to you just the same. :-)

Love,

Poppy's Mama