Birth Story: Part 1

Of all of my blog entries, this one was the hardest to start and I think it’s because my birth story didn’t really have a definitive starting point. 

My birth did not go as planned or predicted, but in the end, all turned out okay. Please be advised that this blog entry may be more “graphic” than other entries and if you’re turned off by words like cervix and episiotomy, you should probably stop reading here. 

***

On Sunday ,April 1^st I went to bed exhausted and yet unable to sleep. Perhaps I should think of that as Aidric’s first April Fool’s Day joke on me--that the night before I would go into labor, I wouldn’t be able to get any rest. Instead, I laid awake in bed unable to turn off my mind or get comfortable. At 2am on April 2^nd  I gave up, padded into the living room, turned on the lamp and began reading some travel guides about Ireland for Chris’s and my anniversary trip next year. I read for an hour or so, drank some tea, and attempted sleep again but between contractions and being uncomfortable it was still a pretty rough night. I fell asleep around 4am and got up before 8am on April 2^nd. 

Being a teacher, I took maternity leave two weeks before my due date--partly because I was afraid of going into labor at school, partly because of my rib pain, and partly because it was the week after spring break and that made planning and a transition to a long-term sub easier on my students. In hindsight I’m VERY glad I did it this way, because if I hadn’t, my water would have broken at school during the Iowa Assessments (formerly ITBS).  I’m guessing one or two of my kids would have been “left behind” so to speak had I been the one to give them the test that day. 

As it was, I was at home folding a load of laundry shortly before lunch when all of a sudden I felt as though I had peed my pants. Although it had never happened to me before, I read that many women experience some incontinence during the later stage of pregnancy, due to a small person sitting on their bladder. I was annoyed, but changed my underwear and tried to forget about it. Until it happened again. 5 minutes later.  

The third time that I “peed my pants” it dawned on me that my water may have broken. I’d read that when a woman’s water breaks it is often more of a slow “trickle” due to the baby’s head acting like a plug in a drain, though a woman's water breaks before the onset of active labor only 10% of the time. I decided to call Midwife Services at my hospital and let them know what happened. They insisted I come in and get checked. I emailed my husband at work to let him know what happened and to tell him that I had to go in and be checked, though I was extremely embarrassed to do so. I really didn’t want to have to confess to another person that I may have peed my pants three times in a row during a half hour—even if that person was married to me. 

It didn’t take long at the office to discover that my water was broken. After changing  and laying back on the table to be checked, both my midwife and I were surprised by a large gush of “water” all over the exam table and the floor.  Susan looked up and smiled at me, “Yup! You’re in labor. Technically I’m not supposed to let you leave—hospital protocol says you need to get into a delivery room right away. But you seem comfortable still. Call your husband. Go home and grab your things. I want to see you at the hospital in no less than two hours.”

At that moment I felt excitement, fear, and relief. I was going to have my baby soon and thank goodness I hadn’t actually peed my pants.  I called Chris at work. 

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“I was right. My water broke.  We need to be at the hospital in less than two hours.”

“Really?”

I remember that response from Chris vividly because I was a little annoyed that he assumed I had just wet my pants three times in a row. We worked out the details and agreed to meet at home ASAP.

I went and grabbed lunch at a drive-through on the way home, though by then it was almost 2:30. I came home to see Chris systematically gathering our things. Both of us were excited, yet calm, a little flighty and yet, well-planned.  I was glad that as we pulled out of the driveway I was still not experiencing much pain and that our trip down I-235 would not involve screaming. . . 

END PART ONE

(My son is crying, so you'll have to wait to hear the rest until later)

A picture of my birth bracelet and belly at 39 weeks gestation. . . the first photo we took at the hospital.

Playlist for Labor and Delivery (aka Gangsta's Paradise)

One of the things we were taught in Bradley Class was to make a playlist or CD for birth.

"Make sure your CD includes music for all sorts of moods. I actually gave birth while listening to Gangsta's Paradise, " said our teacher, who is a petite, gray-haired woman. As snickers bounced off of the walls of the room, she explained, "You'll need music that makes you feel energized at some points and calm at others."

Well, my playlist doesn't include Gangsta's Paradise, but it does include a few titles that I found particularly ironic, like:

-Baby by Justin Bieber
-Closer to Love by Mat Kearny
-Everything is Changing by Keane

...or some less "positive" sounding ironies:

 -Hurts like Heaven by Coldplay
-The Hardest Part by Colplay (maybe I'll listen to this song at 10 centimeters)
-Paralyzer by Finger Eleven (in case I need an epidural)
-Sweetly Broken by Jeremy Riddle (I don't think I need to explain this one.)

At any rate, here is my brainstorm list for what I'll be listening to during childbirth. :-)

Playlist for Birth

Section 1: Upbeat, Positive Music to Make Me Smile

·         Love Train by the O’Jays              

·         Higher and Higher by Jackie Wilson

·         Baby by Justin Bieber

·         Down by Jay Sean

G   Get Down On It by Kool and the Gang

  

Section 2: Rock Ballads/Favorites

·         Nothing Left to Lose by Mat Kearney

·         Closer to Love by Mat Kearney

·         Everything’s Changing by Keane

·         Is it Any Wonder by Keane

·         Hurts like Heaven by Coldplay

·         Living in Technicolor by Coldplay

·         Every Teardrop is a Waterfall by Coldplay

·         A Message by Coldplay

·         The Hardest Part by Coldplay

·         Things I Don’t Understand by Coldplay

·         Set Fire to the Rain by Adele

·         Someone Like you by Adele

·         The Walk by Imogen Heap

·         First Train Home by Imogen Heap

·         Tidal by Imogen Heap

·         Swoon by Imogen Heap

·         Let Go by Frou Frou (Imogen Heap)

Section 3: Powerful/Amped Music (Hard Rock and Hip Hop)

·         Mr. Brightside by The Killers

·         Somebody Told Me by The Killers

·         Everlong by Foo Fighters

·         My Hero by Foo Fighters

·         Rope by Foo Fighters

·         Times Like These by Foo Fighters

·         Hey Man, Nice Shot by Filter

·         Paralyzer by Finger Eleven

·         Closer by Nine Inch Nails

·         Hate It or Love It by The Game

·         Dirt Off Your Shoulder by Jay Z

·         Can I Get A. . . by Jay Z

·         Hard Knock Life by Jay Z

·         Not Afraid by Eminem

·         California Love by Tupac

·         OMG! By Usher

·         “Yeah!” by Usher

Section 4: Calming Music

·         John Fluker—The Sound of Peace (entire disc)

·         David Nevue—Overcome (entire disc)

·         anything by Lorie Line

·         Yellow by Coldplay

·         Sparks by Coldplay

·         We Never Change by Coldplay

·         Green Eyes by Coldplay

Section 5: Christian Favorites

·         Jesus Freak by DC Talk

·         Consume Me by DC Talk

·         Between You and Me by DC Talk

·         Sweetly Broken by Jeremy Riddle

·         Give You Glory by Jeremy Camp

·         Our God by Chris Tomlin

·         I’m Not Who I Was by Brandon Heath

·         The Light in Me by Brandon Heath

·         Your Love by Brandon Heath

Please comment with suggestions for labor playlist songs, or tell me about what you were listening to when you gave birth to your child. :-)

Love,

Poppy's Mama

Boot Camp

A friend (Heather) recently replied to a post on my Facebook wall that pregnancy is boot camp for mommyhood. Does that mean that subsequent children are more like NCO Academy?

Sorry. . . this Air Force wife couldn't resist, but it's true. I'd assume the first time around is the hardest and after that it's generally a lot of work, but not quite as intense. Your body has met these demands before. You're already a part of the mommy "club". So this got me thinking . . . this is another one of those times where being a primary custodial stepmom prior to having a child of my own gives my journey into motherhood some gray area. Am I in boot camp now after going to military school for a few years or will things be extra hard rather than easier because I'll be caring for my first newborn with a preschooler in tow?

Some silly thoughts I had about stepmothering and pregnancy recently for your laughter and enjoyment:

Observation 1:

 Although I haven't had a baby yet, I have grown to loathe going shopping with children. It's not just that they hate being in the cart and staying where you can see them, worrying about them breaking or running into something, or even that they ask to have about every fourth item they see at eye level.  Though those are definite reasons I try to avoid it, one of the biggest is the likely chance that my child will have to use the bathroom while we are there.

 Last night was a perfect example. Dannika had a MAJOR diarrhea blowout while we were at Target and of course, her dad was nowhere to be found. At nine months pregnant, I waddled myself and her to the ladies bathroom where I proceeded to kneel down on dirty bathroom floor, strip Dannika of all her clothes from the waist down, and use nearly half a roll of wet paper towels cleaning poop from pretty much everything but her shoes (though I will say her socks were not salvageable). I called her dad and waited for him to rescue his queen and his princess from the Target bathroom with fresh clothes to wear. Somewhere in the middle of the chaos a thought occurred to me.

This may be the first time I am on a dirty public bathroom floor cleaning poop off of a child's legs, but it certainly won't be the last. 

I chuckled to myself. Boot camp.

Observation 2:

 Has it occurred to anyone else that waking up in the morning during later pregnancy is kind of like waking up in the morning after a night of heavy partying? One feels dehydrated, stiff, and like the quality of sleep over the course of the last several hours was heavily compromised.  The sun is especially bright for some reason.You mosey on over the bathroom, get yourself a cup of water, and contemplate the best way to cover up the bags under your eyes so that your appearance of professionalism will not be compromised at work that day. Luckily, by the third trimester most of us are done throwing up in the morning, though I have heard of some unlucky occurrences of this.

Boot camp.

Observation 3:


"You'll never sleep the same way ever again."

If I had a nickle for every time I heard this one while I was pregnant, I'd have a lot of nickles. People say that even when the baby is sleeping your sleep won't be as restful or as sound. Mama bears are highly alert when it comes to protecting their precious cubs. Although I may not fully understand this yet, my sleep has definitely been compromised since living with and caring for Dannika. I wake up when she goes to the bathroom. I can hear soft crying at the onset of a nightmare from across the house. But mostly, I can count on the fact that if it's a Saturday, Dannika will be up one hour earlier than usual and she'll probably have already made plans for what our day should entail.

Boot camp.

Well, it's almost 10am. I'd better go shower and try to cover up the bags under my eyes. I had a pretty wild night at Target last night.

 

 

 

Excitement and Food

Okay, I'm going to admit something a little strange here.

I measure how close I am to major life milestones by the expiration dates on food when I go grocery shopping. It's like a "now beginning excitement" date.

This time last year I was really pumped because it was within a few days of this time that I was able to buy milk that had an expiration date that would occur after my wedding. It was finally March, so it was possible to buy food that would go bad AFTER I became Mrs. H.

Well, Monday is normally my grocery shopping day. I went grocery shopping and bought some orange juice that had the date APRIL 13th on it. Although my due date according to my LMP and my ultrasounds is April 8th, the due date my midwife is going with is the date of April 12th  because of the school of thought that firstborns actually take 41 weeks and 1 day for gestation. But either way, I am within food expiration date time of my due date! I have orange juice that won't go bad until after my baby is supposed to be born. This is exciting to me.

Okay. I'm done being a dork for now.

No wait. That's incorrect. I'm done being a dork publicly for now. My apologies to Chris and Dannika.

 Love,

Poppy's Mama

Poppy Seed's "Crib"

Crib View

View From the Doorway

Future Reading Corner/Time Out Chair

Still looking for the perfect stuffed puppy to put in Poppy's rocker (a rocking chair given to me when I was a baby by my grandmother). I've loved decorating with puppies and have high hopes that Poppy will bond well with Kloee and Abby. As he gets bigger and acquires more books, I'd like to put an oak shelf on this wall. As it is, we have a couple shelves full of children's books in the family room and in Dannika's room.

Poppy's Dresser

That's right. He already has so many things to wear that I can't shut his dresser drawers. That or I was just really tired when I took this picture and didn't realize the drawer wasn't shut right. Hmm.

That's all for now.

Love,

          Poppy's Mama



He's Really Coming!!!

It's starting to dawn on me that before I know it, Poppy Seed really will be here! A few signs show that he is coming soon in no particular order.

1. The last two nights I had dreams about being in the hospital with him. In my dream he was quite red still, but had very light blonde hair (like daddy when he was little) and blue eyes (we both had blue eyes as babies--mine turned green later). His face was scrunched up and squinty like being born had been a somewhat exhausting and irritable experience for him. I'm excited to see if my dream version of him is similar to the way he really looks!

2. A couple of friends whose due dates are not much earlier than mine had their babies. This means I will have my baby too!

3. Chris and I attended our last Bradley Method class together. Supposedly we are ready to have a baby now. :-P

4. I did our pre-registration paperwork for the hospital today and called about breast pump rental.Now that is something that makes the whole thing much more real!

5. I've started a list of the things that I still need to get in order to be prepared for his arrival (at least in the physical sense).

6. Braxton Hicks Contractions have started. One moment my tummy is fine. The next it feels extremely tight and as hard as a table. I've noticed they seem to happen when I'm especially worn out or overdoing it. I think it's my body's way of saying to slow down.

7. I am increasingly uncomfortable, but actually am in less pain regarding my dislocated ribs. This could mean that he is moving down or that I have just gotten used to feeling like I'm being impaled.

8. People just assume I'm pregnant. Strangers comment on my pregnancy. Apparently my physical stature makes pregnancy assumption safe at this point.

9. My belly button is holding on strong, but looks awfully funny. I think it may pop soon.

10. I am waking up about 4 times during the night because I am either uncomfortable or need to use the restroom.

11. I am more tired than usual. I often find I'm ready for bed when I come home from work.

12. I have varicose veins. (Though at this point I still have little if any stretchmarks! Knock on wood.)

13. I have picked out what Poppy will wear home from the hospital. Thanks to uncle Michael for providing Poppy's first "going out" clothes. He will be dressed in an olive green Baby Gap onesie with a small brown teddy bear embroidered on it. He will wear brown pants to match and a brown teddy bear cap that was given to him at his baby shower.

14. I bought post-partum care supplies.Enough said.

15. I picked out a pediatrician. 

16. My normal winter coat barely zips over my tummy now. Also, my adjustable maternity pants are now on the largest setting. :-/

17. I read up on introducing your pet to your baby. I've been playing youtube videos of babies squaking for my dog today. Unfortunately, she's not interested--she looks at me funny then walks away. At least there is no aggression?

 18. I am a BabiesRUs rewards points member.

19. I can't clip or paint my toes anymore. Also, putting on my socks is an aerobic workout.

20. Baby Poppy has daycare lined up for the end of August. We're taking him to in-home daycare with the same provider Dannika had before she went to pre-school. Even though I know it will be hard, there is a lot of peace in my heart about taking him someplace we know and trust.

Yup! As long as this process may seem, I think he's really coming!

The Hardest Part

I am what some psychologists and sociologists call an ENFJ/ENTJ. Essentially this means I enjoy the company of other people, I am creative and abstract, I use my head about the same amount as I use my heart when making decisions, and I prefer an organized and predictable approach to life. Being an EN(F/T)J has been great for teaching. It helps me relate to others while not becoming too involved in the emotions of my students. It helps me when evolving and developing my lessons, trying to make them as interesting as possible. It helps me stay organized and keep track of the 1000+ things every public school teacher must keep track of.

Unfortunately, being an EN(F/T)J isn't really beneficial  for pregnancy.

When you're pregnant, it's important to focus on yourself moreso than ever. It is important to look at the facts and live in the present, rather than thinking of all of the possibilities (good and bad) in the future. But the character  trait I possess that is perhaps the least compatible with pregnancy is being a J.

The following comes from myersbriggs.org and explains what it's like to be a J:

To others, I seem to prefer a planned or orderly way of life, like to have things settled and organized, feel more comfortable when decisions are made, and like to bring life under control as much as possible.

• I like to have things decided.
• I appear to be task oriented.
• I like to make lists of things to do.
• I like to get my work done before playing.
• I plan work to avoid rushing just before a deadline.
• Sometimes I focus so much on the goal that I miss new information.

So, as one can imagine, being a J doesn't work so great with being pregnant--especially considering I'm going to try to do this natural birth with a midwife thing.

 I'd be a lot more comfortable if I knew the exact day I was going to have Poppy, but I don't. And my method of childbirth doesn't make a lot of room for scheduled induction if he doesn't come on time.Babies don't go by schedules.


I'd be a lot more comfortable if I knew how big Poppy would be. I'd have a lot more courage to give birth to Poppy naturally if I knew he'd be six pounds, but I don't. He could be ten pounds. And there's really only one way to find out. (I gotta say, if I knew he'd be ten pounds, I'd be jumping ship on the whole natural childbirth thing.)


I'd be a lot more comfortable if I knew how Chris would react to my labor. Will he be able to talk me through everything and keep me relaxed? Will he freak out or clam up? Will he pass out at the sight of . . . well. How is your husband supposed to coach you through childbirth, the most stressful experience of your life, when he doesn't have any experience? (Dannika's birth was scheduled, medicated, and completed via C-Section.)

I'd be a lot more comfortable if I knew Poppy was going to be healthy. Am I going to regret that latte I splurged on this morning? Can I take some pain reliever for those dislocated ribs or do I need to just lay down and push through. If I ingest any more I iron, I will surely throw up. Do I have to? Am I endangering my child by not taking it? 

I'd be a lot more comfortable if I could buy everything I'm going to need for Poppy in advance--if I knew which nipples he'd take to on his bottles and pacifiers, since he'll be primarily breast-fed, if I knew what diapers best held his poop, if I knew which blankets best swaddle his little body, if I knew which formula to supplement with. But as it is, I'll be needing to go to the store rather frequently at first. Because despite knowing that he seems to be an active fellow, I really know nothing else about him.

I'd be a lot more comfortable if I knew what comforted my son. Will he like swaddling? Will he like noise? Will he want to be held all the time? Will he want some space? How am I going to help him?

These days I am wishing more than ever that I was a "P" instead of a "J". Then I could go with the flow calmly and comfortably. But I'm not and I don't. I worry a lot. I like plans. I like expectations. I can only hope that when it comes time my J will help to make sure Poppy gets to all of his practices on time, that it will help teach him responsibility, that his college applications will be in weeks a head of time. But until that day. . . the uncertainty is perhaps the hardest part of pregnancy.